SilverDragonLily
Junior Member
~She changes everything She touches, and everything She touches changes~
Posts: 280
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Post by SilverDragonLily on Jun 3, 2004 21:55:54 GMT -5
All the Pretty Horses A field is full of horses, trotting side by side. Their bodies’ glow, touched by the setting sun Galloping freely, within the vast countryside, Graciously, they continue to prance and run Yet, on the other side of the meadow Trash is littered, left and forgotten. Highways snake and cars flow And the pastures become tainted and rotten. One day horses trot majestically, with shiny maines Now horses reside behind restraining fences, The land conqured and no more vast planes Taken away are wonderful pastures on unfair pretenses Pastures replaced with litter, houses and other forces Is this what we offer all of the pretty horses? please tell me what you think of this..my one friend told me it is the worst poem i have ever written and that he doesn't like the theme
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Post by Wicca Chick on Jun 4, 2004 17:52:03 GMT -5
Omygoddess Silver! No, not at all - its an awesome poem! Honest!!! And its an awesome thing that its about horses - gotta love them! Its really good - whoever told you that, hm they have some werid opinion! But its a great poem!!! Don't let them bring you down - your an awesome poet!
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SilverDragonLily
Junior Member
~She changes everything She touches, and everything She touches changes~
Posts: 280
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Post by SilverDragonLily on Jun 4, 2004 22:23:01 GMT -5
thanks for the complement but i've been editing it alot..and another of my friends agreed that the poem didn't have the flow that i usually put into it...but i sent this version as well as my edited version to my sponsorer and he hopefully he will give me his opinion...but so far you are the only one who said it was good
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Post by Wicca Chick on Jun 4, 2004 22:29:41 GMT -5
I guess i jsut really like horses ( and anything to do with them ) and i think there's a lot of meaning and good lessons behind it. I think it really gives everyone a view about what's happening around us and contrasts it a lot. It gives us a view of what could've been and how we (just we humans in general) destroyed things...
Well im not much of a poet, so honestly i relaly think all poetry is great, so i guess i'm not the best 'critique' out there! I really basically appreciate anything that has effort behind it...
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Post by Syri Whiteflame on Jun 8, 2004 2:44:34 GMT -5
oh no, i love the theme and the message it's very good ^-^ makes me think of not just the once wild horses but native americans and all of the cultures and so forth that people have wronged. the message really is beautiful and true. perhaps your friend just didn't see past the skin? here and there i guess you could play with the wording, but on the whole i like it ps i love the ending ^-^
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SilverDragonLily
Junior Member
~She changes everything She touches, and everything She touches changes~
Posts: 280
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Post by SilverDragonLily on Jun 8, 2004 14:43:09 GMT -5
thanks, yes my one other friend liked it..i guess its just a poem that some people can like and notice it's true meaning and other's are blind to the meaning and its nothing to them...
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