Post by Syri Whiteflame on Jun 5, 2004 0:32:21 GMT -5
okay this is long, so i'm going to have to post it in parts i think. i wrote it before i knew of wicca, but my religion was already developing really similar to it, so you may kind of get that impression from the main character talking about her faith.
"Yoroshiku"
So here I am, trapped between a rock and a hard place. Either to give up my 'god' or to die for my faith. ...
I was only 14 years old, but in this day and age, that was plenty old enough for trial. They'd stormed our church, and taken the entire gathering into custody, claiming us as terrorists, to have the blood of murder and disloyalty on our hands. They took no heed to the pleas of our loved ones, or much less, of our own desperate attempts to show them the truth. We were a peaceful group. Believing in the balance of nature, and finding that balance in all things. We didn't believe in taking life, but our very nature meant that we accepted death. Perhaps this is why we were shunned? We never looked on death with sadness, but always with understanding, saying that instead of loosing a friend, we were gaining a new soul somewhere in the world.
Or maybe it wasn't this at all, perhaps it was our very symbol. Two snakes wound around the tree of knowledge from the garden of eden. They say us as devil worshipers, as defending Satan, because of our views. We stated that all, good and evil, Angel and Demon were really the same, and that we all worked towards the same goal.
Or maybe it was something else entirely, I don't really know. And I suppose, at the moment, it doesn't really matter so much now does it?
The lock slid open and two men stepped inside. The first was large and muscular, wearing the uniform of a guard, and the second: a slightly smaller man, in a suit and tie. He seemed almost to smile with his eyes, though the rest of his face was kept quit composed, and very serious. The kind of man who always looks as if he's thinking of something very important and very unappealing, even while he's asleep. I didn't like that glint in his eyes, it seemed to say purely that he was pleased to see 'our kind' behind bars, or perhaps it was more of the 'awe our scapegoats' shine. Either way I already didn't trust him.
They lead several of us down a long rather gray and dark hall way, into a large gray room with one barred window and what looked to be a stainless steal table. More gray metal like chairs were placed around the room, most of them along on side of the table.
My eyes bounced from the light reflected on the tables dark silver top to the window, where they stayed for a time, contemplating what looked like chicken wire between the bars and the obviously inoperable window.
"Now than" the suit said. The charm switch had been flipped to on, and though the serious expression stayed, he projected a sort of 'I'm hear to help you' smile beneath it. Beneath that, I should expect to find black air, and a hollow inside. I shivered at the thought of living my life as such a void and disliked creature. "Shall we be seated?"
We choose our seats, though a couple of us remained standing. Mr. Witely I suspected out of defiance, and Mrs. Witely out of loyalty to her husband.
The suit looked briefly at them, the threads showing in his thin smile for an instant, before he resolved himself to the job at hand. Trying to remain unfazed he continues, "The charges against your ordinance are sever ..." I drown him out. There was nothing of this suits shallow fake words that I wanted to hear. I knew well enough what was going on, and how we would be crucified in court, thrown under lock and key to play free slaves for the government. And for what? So we could have the honor of being their scapegoats? Suddenly I was filled with the uncontrollable tension of 'us vs them' and I began to hate these people, this country, and most of all their government. My cold wet palms clenched into a fist beneath the table, and I could barley with hold my anger, and my tears.
How could they? How could they accuse us? I felt so betrayed somehow. We'd trusted them. Helped them. supported this country, and voted in it's president, and this was our return? This was what we got, for simply being there? For living, for believing in something a little different from the rest of these sheep? What was wrong with them all?! Couldn't they see how their own wool was being pulled over them? Smothering themselves as they hug us for murder? Murder?! That was a joke! They were the killers! And now they were going to destroy us to cover their own bloody hands! I couldn't stand it! What was wrong with these people?! These stupid stupid greedy self loving ignorant people! Murder? I'll show them murder!
I couldn't stand it any longer. Throwing my chair to the ground as I stood and stormed to the door. "Take me back to my cell!" I screamed at the guard. "Take me to my death now, and let's skip all these stupid games! Your only wasting your own d**n money!"
"Sami?" Mariel's voice came from behind me. I turned to see the confused tears forming in her eyes.
"Don't you see Meriel? There's no point. We're a scapegoat for these people. They don't care about justice. If they did their entire government would have to be put to death."
"Sami..?" She looked to the floor for comfort. Hoping perhaps to find something there that would make this all untrue. That would wake us from this nightmare. But it wasn't there. And she lifted her eyes again to mine. Crying freely now. "Can't we try?" She whispered, "Can't we at least try?"
My heart sank. I knew what she was hoping for was completely beyond hope, but I couldn't help feeling guilty for having thrown those hopes in the mud, and then jumping all over them. I came back to the table and put a hand on Meriel's shoulder. "all right," I said "We can try. I'm sorry Milli, I'm sorry." I hugged her tightly, as the rest of the room slowly went back to the hollow man's speech. And I didn't let go again, until we were back in our cell and she had fallen asleep on the lower bunk.
I'm writing this to you Sarium, because I know no one else will listen. And I don't expect I'll ever get a chance to tell them as it is anyway. I've confined myself to my doom now, but I wanted someone to know. I don't know what good it does, but ... I just wanted someone to know. ....
"Yoroshiku"
So here I am, trapped between a rock and a hard place. Either to give up my 'god' or to die for my faith. ...
I was only 14 years old, but in this day and age, that was plenty old enough for trial. They'd stormed our church, and taken the entire gathering into custody, claiming us as terrorists, to have the blood of murder and disloyalty on our hands. They took no heed to the pleas of our loved ones, or much less, of our own desperate attempts to show them the truth. We were a peaceful group. Believing in the balance of nature, and finding that balance in all things. We didn't believe in taking life, but our very nature meant that we accepted death. Perhaps this is why we were shunned? We never looked on death with sadness, but always with understanding, saying that instead of loosing a friend, we were gaining a new soul somewhere in the world.
Or maybe it wasn't this at all, perhaps it was our very symbol. Two snakes wound around the tree of knowledge from the garden of eden. They say us as devil worshipers, as defending Satan, because of our views. We stated that all, good and evil, Angel and Demon were really the same, and that we all worked towards the same goal.
Or maybe it was something else entirely, I don't really know. And I suppose, at the moment, it doesn't really matter so much now does it?
The lock slid open and two men stepped inside. The first was large and muscular, wearing the uniform of a guard, and the second: a slightly smaller man, in a suit and tie. He seemed almost to smile with his eyes, though the rest of his face was kept quit composed, and very serious. The kind of man who always looks as if he's thinking of something very important and very unappealing, even while he's asleep. I didn't like that glint in his eyes, it seemed to say purely that he was pleased to see 'our kind' behind bars, or perhaps it was more of the 'awe our scapegoats' shine. Either way I already didn't trust him.
They lead several of us down a long rather gray and dark hall way, into a large gray room with one barred window and what looked to be a stainless steal table. More gray metal like chairs were placed around the room, most of them along on side of the table.
My eyes bounced from the light reflected on the tables dark silver top to the window, where they stayed for a time, contemplating what looked like chicken wire between the bars and the obviously inoperable window.
"Now than" the suit said. The charm switch had been flipped to on, and though the serious expression stayed, he projected a sort of 'I'm hear to help you' smile beneath it. Beneath that, I should expect to find black air, and a hollow inside. I shivered at the thought of living my life as such a void and disliked creature. "Shall we be seated?"
We choose our seats, though a couple of us remained standing. Mr. Witely I suspected out of defiance, and Mrs. Witely out of loyalty to her husband.
The suit looked briefly at them, the threads showing in his thin smile for an instant, before he resolved himself to the job at hand. Trying to remain unfazed he continues, "The charges against your ordinance are sever ..." I drown him out. There was nothing of this suits shallow fake words that I wanted to hear. I knew well enough what was going on, and how we would be crucified in court, thrown under lock and key to play free slaves for the government. And for what? So we could have the honor of being their scapegoats? Suddenly I was filled with the uncontrollable tension of 'us vs them' and I began to hate these people, this country, and most of all their government. My cold wet palms clenched into a fist beneath the table, and I could barley with hold my anger, and my tears.
How could they? How could they accuse us? I felt so betrayed somehow. We'd trusted them. Helped them. supported this country, and voted in it's president, and this was our return? This was what we got, for simply being there? For living, for believing in something a little different from the rest of these sheep? What was wrong with them all?! Couldn't they see how their own wool was being pulled over them? Smothering themselves as they hug us for murder? Murder?! That was a joke! They were the killers! And now they were going to destroy us to cover their own bloody hands! I couldn't stand it! What was wrong with these people?! These stupid stupid greedy self loving ignorant people! Murder? I'll show them murder!
I couldn't stand it any longer. Throwing my chair to the ground as I stood and stormed to the door. "Take me back to my cell!" I screamed at the guard. "Take me to my death now, and let's skip all these stupid games! Your only wasting your own d**n money!"
"Sami?" Mariel's voice came from behind me. I turned to see the confused tears forming in her eyes.
"Don't you see Meriel? There's no point. We're a scapegoat for these people. They don't care about justice. If they did their entire government would have to be put to death."
"Sami..?" She looked to the floor for comfort. Hoping perhaps to find something there that would make this all untrue. That would wake us from this nightmare. But it wasn't there. And she lifted her eyes again to mine. Crying freely now. "Can't we try?" She whispered, "Can't we at least try?"
My heart sank. I knew what she was hoping for was completely beyond hope, but I couldn't help feeling guilty for having thrown those hopes in the mud, and then jumping all over them. I came back to the table and put a hand on Meriel's shoulder. "all right," I said "We can try. I'm sorry Milli, I'm sorry." I hugged her tightly, as the rest of the room slowly went back to the hollow man's speech. And I didn't let go again, until we were back in our cell and she had fallen asleep on the lower bunk.
I'm writing this to you Sarium, because I know no one else will listen. And I don't expect I'll ever get a chance to tell them as it is anyway. I've confined myself to my doom now, but I wanted someone to know. I don't know what good it does, but ... I just wanted someone to know. ....